


Last Sacrament

by CTtrajan



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Angst, Burning, Dark Brotherhood Questline, Dark Brotherhood Spoilers, Gen, Stabbing, adn the listener too, and i kinda took astrid's final moments, and ran, but this is an Astrid centered fic, everyone else in the brotherhood is mentioned, technically, there isn't Too much violence but the entire thing is based on the sacrament ritual, which includes stabbing the body
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 15:34:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30108156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CTtrajan/pseuds/CTtrajan
Summary: Astrid hadn't wanted this. Any of it. She just wanted her Old Family back, not to destroy it. But now the deed's done and all that's left is the flickering ruins of her only Sanctuary and the dead bodies left strewn around within it.
Kudos: 1





	Last Sacrament

Flames. They licked and lapped all around her, burning with the heat of blood and guilt. The stench of flickering flesh, burnt and seasoned with crimson stains, wormed its way into Astrid’s nose. It was nauseating. Repressing the urge to be sick, she stumbled down the corridor, searching for survivors. All the soldiers were dead now: she had made sure of that. Smoke clogged her throat, searing scratches through its walls as she breathed. Desperately, she scanned the room. Her eyes lit up at the sight of the waterfall, leading her to impulsively jump. Scorched skin steamed against the icy water and she writhed in agony, feeling the freezing pain consume her like the fire that had engulfed her fried flesh. However, it was unmeasurably smaller than the hurt that panged her heart as she left the water and saw the body. Arnbjorn, Scars scrabbling all over his werewolf form’s hide, his corpse lay collapsed at the edge of the pool. Astrid rushed as she clutched her husband’s head to her chest, clinging to him. She cried. She cried and wailed and bawled and in the silence of her Sanctuary, no one was there to listen. Slowly, she tenderly stroked his fur, holding his forehead to her.

“I’m sorry.”

Croaking the words out, she repeated it over and over, rocking back and forth in despair.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have- I could have- I’ve killed- you.”

Sorrow poured out of her in her weeping whimpers, trickling rivers onto the fur of Arnbjorn’s snout. She wasn’t strong enough to carry him out, give him the best burial she could, but it would be alright. He died nobly and in battle - as he would have wanted to in life.

Each body added a weighted stone to her chest. The fire from the explosions, though slowly dying, still burned, flickering at the feet of each corpse. Festus. Gabriella. Veezara. Tears slipped past and stung for each one. Mournfully, Astrid reminisced their time together, the kills they’d praised each other for, the smiles they kept. Festus and his fireballs. Gabriella and her seduction. Veezara and his stealth. Arnbjorn and his strength. Each thought of their names choked her breath further as he passed them. Babette, Navir and the Listener were missing. That meant they were alive. Sitting at her desk, the chair barely holding onto its own charred life, she noticed a growth of Nightshade - unharmed by the explosions. An idea formed in her head.

Hurriedly, Astrid gathered the items. Candles: all laid out in a circle. Nightshade: its poison drawn out. Dagger: dipped cleanly in the flower’s potency. Flesh:

Staring down at the book, she sighed. Black and red spread mosaic stains all across her skin. Her flesh was tainted with burns - both from fire and guilt. Regret for her actions stoked her wounds’ pain every step she made. It hurt. It stung. It was agonising. But she had to do this. She had to make things right. Taking a deep breath, she took the dagger and positioned herself in the circle of light, spreading her limbs far apart. If this worked, she would have a chance at an apology. And after that, after it was all finished, she could sleep. Joining Sithis in her death where she could only pray for his forgiveness. And his mercy.

Scrunching her eyes closed, Astrid held her breath and felt the air thin as she plunged the knife into her leg.

“Sweet… mother...”

The words struggled out, searing pain as she spoke. The empty air listened without remorse. Her thoughts whirled with adrenaline as she choked on.

“Sweet… mother… Send your...”

An image of the Listener floated past her head. Their initial shock, their first contracts, the way they’d followed her faithfully.

“...child. Unto me.”

Strength returned to her words as she continued, stabbing her leg once more and wincing from the action.

“For the… sins of the… unworthy...”

Her own deeds replayed in her mind and she thrust the blade in again, roughly in anger. At herself. It twisted within her thigh and she gasped, biting back the pain.

“...must be baptised… in blood and fear.”

Heaving breaths lifted her chest up and down. She stabbed again, slow in motion and let her fingers linger on the handle this time.

“Sweet mother, sweet mother… send your child unto me.”

Sucking in sharply, she kept it up as water streamed down in gushes from her eyes.

“For the sins… of the unworthy must be… baptised in blood… and fear.”

Pain pounded within her head and agony within her heart, drumming ever louder as the door was flung open. Wincing as she let the dagger clatter against the floor, she felt the warmth of blood pool around underneath her legs and looked up at who entered.

And smiled at the Listener’s shocked face.

**Author's Note:**

> So!! I really hope you enjoyed this!! I picked up Skyrim a few months ago and have been invested ever since. However, the only place I absolutely LOVED was the Dark Brotherhood and it absolutely destroyed me to finish the questline. However this will be my lasting legacy of that questline because I was interested in what would have happened to Astrid for her to have become the sacrament. So I wrote a fic about it!! I hope you enjoyed it! I can't say I'm certain I did well on Astrid's character but I'm proud of this. Please leave a kudo or a comment to tell me your thoughts! I'm thinking of maybe adding a chapter for headcannoned memories of the Family haha.


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